Awkwardness...

I have often been told that I am one of the most gifted embracers of awkwardness that people have ever seen. This means two things 1) I am awesome...2) I am awesome at creating, being involved in, finding my way to, negotiating, encouraging AWKWARD situations.

So, I figured, why hide this talent under a bushel? Here's to the candle stick!

Last night, I was playing some church basketball. First off, let me explain that I live in a somewhat unique situation. Because of living at University housing, our congregation is made up of fairly newly married folks, and all who live there must have at least one person attending the University. That makes for a fairly homogeneous group. Further, only the ladies play on Thursday nights. I quite like it.

Generally, they have older church members who are from the community (a.k.a. not students and generally in their 40s or 50s ref for us). I was talking to one such gentleman last night. He is a great guy. He is a professor in the Poli Sci department at BYU. Though I didn't take any classes from him, I had lots of friends who did. I was so excited to see him and reconnect with life at my alma-mater.

Anyway, as we talked about various class members (please keep in mind that I had never talked to this man before i.e. he has no clue about me except this conversation and that I am probably a member of the congregation there), I mentioned a kid I knew in my undergrad that knew this professor really well. I had had a major crush on this kid previous to meeting my husband as in like I kind of still had a thing for this kid while going on my first date with my now husband. Anyway, me and my over exuberant nature got in the way.

The Professor's face lit up when I mentioned this kids name. Then he turned to me and said, "Man, he is a great guy!" I replied, " Yeah, I know, he really is." Then he said, "Yeah, man, I don't know why he isn't married." NOW IS THE AWKWARD PART...I don't know if I was just full of a lot of air or if I just felt I needed to stress my reply or what...but I replied, " Don't I know it." Only, I kind of screamed/exhaled deeply while saying it.

This could be a surprising tone for anyone saying anything really...but it was kind of unfortunate that it came out while talking about a guy not my husband who I used to crush on...anyway, I just followed it up with a huge smile pretending like I used that kind of exuberance all the time...and then I went home and told Parker that I just labeled myself a hooch to one of the most respectable men over our congregation...alas, if only he knew how truly hooch-less I am.

Moral: I dig my husband A LOT, and occasionally, I have poor breath support when it really counts.

NEWS!

Well, guess who I heard from this morning? That's right folks. The University of Utah, and I have been accepted to their law program as well. Now, you are probably all wondering...who will she pick? The answer is that I am not sure yet. I have until April to figure it out. There are significant pros and cons to both sides. Believe it or not, my football allegiance will not be the deciding factor either :-)

Anyway, I know many of you have been wondering, so now you know as much as I do. So far, I have heard from four schools, and I have been admitted to four schools. I am still waiting to hear back from William and Mary as well as Duke. The likelihood of me going to either of those schools however is very small...so here's to DECISION TIME! BYU or the U? What will be my final choice? I will let you know, when I know...but in the meantime, I am happy to take recommendations :-)

A Taste for the French...

Alright, not all of you will appreciate the video I post below...those of you who don't speak French in particular might not find it funny because it's all in French...so, I am sorry for excluding some of you my valiant readers...but I welcome you to watch the video anyway. However, the rest of my post after the video will be entirely in English...and if you care to read that, you are welcome to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNtofg6be7Y&feature=autoplay&list=PLCB47E23BBB3A9637&index=6&playnext=13

I have been missing France today. This guy cracks me up because he is so ridiculous, and that is kind of not French. I don't think I met anyone in France as ridiculous as this fellow...which makes him all the more ridiculous. But I have been missing the beauty of the buildings, the excitement of the city, the preciseness of the language, the hot crepes, the cold mornings, the atmosphere of history, the Louvre. I think back to my time there, and I wish that I could live it all over again sometimes...only this time, I would be less cautious, more curious, and live fully. It was not the experience I anticipated it would be...but I am forever changed because of my time there...and that makes me often crave life in France again.

Weekend Fun...

So, Parker and I do fun things sometimes, but we never document them with pictures...so no one ever knows that we do fun things, but we do, it's true.

This weekend, we went up to Rexburg to visit my brother and his wife. We had a lovely time despite feeling like we were on a gulag in Russia every time we walked outside. Rexburg is lovely I am told...and I certainly think the people warm your hearts...but the weather didn't win me over.

Anyway, we went skiing while we were there...well I skied..or tried to, and Parker snowboarded. I wish we had taken some cool pictures...but we were too busy trying not to die. I actually had a good time though. I do have bruises all the way up both legs, but it was worth it! By the end, I was actually zig zagging like you are supposed to, and I was having a ball. I thought I was done after that first run...but in the end, I managed a total of 5 runs before calling it a night. I am glad that we went and did this. Skiing, along with ice skating, roller skating...and really anything else that requires balance and coordination...have never been a strong point of mine, but by the end of the trip, I could see why a family ski pass may be appealing in the future.

Hope is hard.

Well, probably you already knew this about me...but in case you didn't, I AM A HUGE PLANNER. I HAVE to plan, it is in my blood. I must know what I am doing...but not just a week from now...I like knowing what is happening a year from now, three years from now, five years from now...and that is where I finally let up a little.

Presently, I don't know what is happening two months from now...and that is tricky. For all of January, I was haunted by my lack of knowing. The thoughts that would keep me up at night were things like: Where am I going to law school? Are we going to Norway this summer for an internship for Parker? Will Parker get a scholarship in the fall? Will I get a scholarship in the fall? Will we need to move? If so, when? Where to? Do I need a bus pass? Should we upgrade to a two bedroom apartment for our second anniversary? Should we upgrade at all? Should I quit my job? If so, when and how? How much do we need saved? Do we have enough? When should I switch insurances? Should I? Is student insurance that much better... and on and on and on.

A fun fact to go along with this, when I got my final W-2 with my paycheck in January, I was more or less in a panic to get home and do my taxes immediately. All day, all I could think about was going home and doing them. As I have reflected on this, I have decided that my excitement came from me finally being able to answer one of the questions which had been milling around in my head: how much will our tax refund be...and how will that affect the rest of our plan?

Anyway, I was nearly to my wits end when a good friend of mine sent me an email. As I read it, I realized that maybe I needed to take a bit of a chill pill. Instead of lining everything up like a chain reaction, I would instead focus on each decision in and of itself, and with that decision, I would start to make a personal effort to insert a little hope and a little faith with each choice. I will not say that I no longer wish to plan, that I am perfectly at ease not having the slightest clue what the next several months will bring to our family, but I will say that I have been able to make some very important decisions because I have just focused on the present.

One such decision was to quit my job. I knew that I would like be quiting my job at the end of summer. This was moved up to May when Parker told me that we would probably be going to Norway for the summer, but I still felt unsettled about this, and then last week, after talking with Parker for sometime, I realized that I really should quit at the end of March. Even at this time, I didn't know really why that was the date that brought me peace, but I moved forward with it.

Since that time, small events have unfolded in my life that have evidenced to me that my little bit of hope and faith has brought a generous return. I am grateful for these moments, and all that they teach me about how I need to slow down and enjoy life for where it is right now.

And the Winner is?????

Well, thank you Julia/Hyrum. I guess my last post was kind of a mean, to just leave that obscure phrase out there, "The Decided are Always Gentle", but I appreciate the posting of your comment. For those of you who have not read it, Julia/Hyrum explained it probably better than I ever could have on the previous post, I would suggest reading their comment before attempting to get what in the world is going on with the rest of my post.

NOW, why do I love this? Well, I have had the opportunity to meet many people in my life who are NOT this way. They are certainly decided in their beliefs, but they take to ridicule instead of understanding as a way to communicate their opinions. Their speech is demeaning and destructive. Unfortunately, I think that many of these individuals take to a profession focused on the art of argumentation...in short...law.

OF COURSE, this is not true of many people who become lawyers. I have some exceptional individuals in my own family that are lawyers and who demonstrate the ideal articulated in the phrase "The Decided are Always Gentle."

Bearing that in mind, I realize that the small sampling of attorney's attitudes I have had at my current job will only expand as I enter law school and come into contact with lawyers throughout my life.

So, friends...in short, I love this quote because it embodies what I hope to someday be. I do not think I know enough about law to be decided just yet, but when I do, I hope that I am always gentle in the way I conduct and express myself. Lawyers with this focus would do our world a lot of good.

"The Decided are Always Gentle"

I was recently reading a talk that James E. Faust gave to young law students in 2003. The whole talk can be accessed here link. The talk was excellent, but the phrase that has stuck out most in my mind was a line from President Faust's introducer. As he talked about the many wonderful accolades and attributes of James E. Faust, he told a story in which he summed up this man in the phrase "The Decided are Always Gentle."

I instantly fell in love with this phrase. It may not be apparent immediately why I would love this phrase so much...but just think through it a few times.

The Decided are Always Gentle." What could that mean?

Any guesses? What does it mean to you? I think that I will leave that question and give you my answer after I have heard some of your responses.

Hope you are having a good day :-)

Looking to the future...

Well, I have been in a somewhat driven/goal oriented stint lately. After my dismal injury in the last half-marathon I tried to run, I have decided to sign up for one again. On April 16, 2011, I will attempt to not only start but actually finish a half marathon. I hope it will be a nice spring day, but either way, I am excited. So far, the training for it has been going well. I am constantly surprised at what our bodies are capable of when we give them the chance. Additionally, I will be running in the Red Rock Relay come September. This should be pretty epic and fun. Miracle of miracles, Parker boy has consented to do it with me. This may be the first and last race we run together, but I am looking forward to it all the same.