'Tis the Season

"For the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet. Yea, even the very God of Israel do men trample under their feet; I say, trample under their feet but I would speak in other words -- they set him at naught, and hearken not to the voice of his counsels."  1 Nephi  19:7

Tis the Season to remember Christ and at the very least, to remember his teachings of love and service and faith and hope. A very Merry Christmas to everyone.

4 Months!

It is amazing how quickly time is going, and that my newborn is a baby and will soon be a little boy. He is so darling. Loves jumping. Oh my, does he love jumping. Loves sucking his thumb. Loves smiling, and laughing. He is such a darling little thing.

Here are Atticus and his cousin Jackson, just playing, holding hands, looking at the camera, becoming friends! 

 It would appear that Atticus doesn't LOVE being a pumpkin, but we are going to give it another go soon.

 He does however LOVE to get things stuck on his head: blankets, bras, pants (as in his), you name it, he has probably at least tried to get it up to his head.

 We went with some friends to St. George a few weekends ago, and this little fellow was a perfect hiker.

 This is generally how he wakes up, just ever so glad to see us.

 This is generally how he goes to sleep, thumb ALWAYS firmly lodged in his sweet little mouth.

 My parents came to town for a cousin's wedding, and here is Atticus having some fun with Grandpa. Are those Atticus' pajamas? Why yes, yes they are. I believe that whole day he wore them. Nothing high brow about our household. Comfort is the necessity.

A's just growing and growing

Here is Sir Atticus. He is all sorts of fun. I suppose that I should cover some of his latest accomplishments. He will be four months on October 8...but he loves to role on his side to sleep, suck his thumb, read books, play under his play gym. Laugh. Scream. Diaper changes. And people, he really loves to babble and talk to people. He does not like: pacifiers, eating, and missing the party for nap time.

Milestones: He can roll from front to back and back to front. He is starting to get his bottom teeth. He is talking around the clock. Smiling. Laughing. Controlling his head.

So far, I love being a mom. I think he is just about the best thing to happen in my life, and Parker feels the same. The only thing more fun than being a mom is seeing other people that you love and care about also enjoy the delightful personality of your sweet little baby!

Here are some update photos and even a video.

He is so cute that even with a massive zit on his nose, he is a heart breaker.

We don't actually put him on side. He always starts on his back, but he loves this position. He also loved this position while in the womb. And usually, there is a thumb in that mouth too. Little Rebel.

We share the same left cheek dimple. Faces people. We are talking about faces!

Summer time swimming. 

Some awesome cousin time in the pool! Here is Lucy (3) and Brighton (18 mos) playing with cousin Atticus! 

Pacifiers happen so in frequently that we try very hard to catch it on camera every time it does, so that we can pretend we have a child that will take a pacifier like other normal children. 

We went to dinner with Kamilla. Parker met her on his mission in Norway. She was in town for a visit from Oslo. She was truly delightful. 

Just two guys spending some time looking at electronica. I think this was probably two seconds before I  body slammed the i-pad because I know babies aren't supposed to look at electronica too much, but come on, is that the cutest? I think so. 

And here is what was being viewed. Apparently, Parker was in a political mood this day...an uncommon mood for my husband, so I guess I am lucky to have caught it on camera. 

Just last week, Atticus got his first cousin on the Wightman side. Her name is Ellen Wightman, and she is darling. Atticus was quite taken with her. 

Here he is with his play gym. He favors Mr. Frog there, and if you look hard, you can tell he is focused completely on hitting that dangling green reptile. Are frogs reptiles? We are going to say yes. 

Unintentionally made him look like a gnome. We try to add diversity to our son's life by making him be the many things that add diversity rather than just learning about htem. 

G-pa Randy and Atticus were rocking the same outfit this day. Look at that love. 

Here are Atticus and Ellie again. She is so new. He was really trying to decide whether his new cousin or the awesome ladybug design on her blanket was more interesting. I am going to say that the ladybugs won out this day...but in time, I think it will be Ellie 100%. 

Also, you may have noticed his rather prominent birth mark on his forehead. A funny story regarding that. We have a neighbor whose wife is expecting a baby in November. As a result, he is rather excited about babies in general, and loves to hold and play with Atticus. While at a neighborhood bbq a few weeks ago, this neighbor had Atticus sitting with his body being supported by his own on the grass. Parker called over to this neighbor, stealing his attention. We are fairly certain that this neighbor didn't realize Atticus couldn't sit up all by himself quite yet, so when he turned to respond to Parker, Atticus face-planted in the grass. More than likely, this startled him more than hurt him, but he isn't quiet about his discomfort. So, pretty much everyone at the bbq soon realized something had happened to Atticus, and of course, our neighbor friend felt terrible. Several hours later, while holding Atticus and talking to another neighbor, she looked at Atticus and said... looking at his birth mark..., "Wow, he took quite fall." We assured her this was in fact not a bruise, but it still struck us as funny. So there you have it! I like to think of him as our very own Gorbachev, and I believe that Parker looks at it as an awesome Harry Potter-esque attribute. So, though most people say it will lighten with time, I think we would be fine either way. 

New Blog

So, I know that this will seem funny, but I have created a new blog. I know that I am not so great at keeping up on our family blog, but I hope at my other blog you will find me more consistent. It is a blog of my thoughts and opinions I suppose...so read if you like.

My NEW blog address is:

makeyourinfluencefelt.blogspot.com


Enjoy!

If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear (the irony of my birth story)

If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear (D&C Section 38), a familiar and fairly well accepted ideology the world over. Preparation = lack of fear. Fair enough friends, fair enough.

Now enter child birth.

Hmmmm.

All the preparation in the world cannot fully prepare you for childbirth. And while this may appear a tongue and cheek quip, I assure you that I do not mean it in any comical fashion. Child birth is hard. Yep. There it is, but holy crapolla CHILD BIRTH IS AMAZING. And that my friends, far outweighs any talk of the arguable unpleasantness associated with bearing a child. All the preparation in the world, could not have fully prepared me for how incredible I felt as I pushed my son into this world and felt his warm little body on my rather exposed self. Nothing could have prepared me for the sacredness of the occasion. For the emotional outpouring of a loving husband and brand new father. For the rush of love that washed over me as I realized the tiny beginnings of motherhood. For the awe that I felt realizing that the medical staff present witness this miracle everyday.

This is not to say that things went as I planned. In fact, nothing went as I planned. Months of preparation and I can honestly say that my birth plan seems a bit of a joke in retrospect, but none of that minimizes the incredible experience of childbirth and how immensely grateful I am that in the end, we had a healthy beautiful little boy.

Bout time for a post...and some pics

My goodness. What a roller coaster these past almost two weeks have been. I know that I owe you all a post about labor and delivery. I know that I will end up writing one about breastfeeding too. So be excited for those! They are coming, but today, maybe just some darling pictures of our new little son. He is such a sweet baby. I love him so much. It is funny to see how similar his tendencies are outside the womb as they were in. He LOVES to sleep on his side. He LOVES to be all stretched out. He LOVES to just relax. He is darling... as long as he is fed. Parker and I still aren't getting much sleep. That is definitely the hardest part of these first few weeks. Being sleep deprived makes everything seem so much harder and daunting, but I really love this little fellow.

Maybe it will happen this week!

So, I went to the doctor today, much better visit than last week. I just knew that I had changed and progressed. I really think that if I can just make it to next Monday's appointment without having to be induced, I will go into labor on my own.

Today, I was 80% effaced and 1 cm dilated. Some of you will look at those numbers and mock...but to me they represent a change. ANY CHANGE. And I am so very grateful for that. I definitely am feeling my body prepare more, and occasionally, I even have a small form of contraction separate from the Braxton Hicks variety that I have been so abundantly blessed with.

The only problem with today's visit was my blood pressure, it was a wee bit high, so that means a Thursday morning appointment as well as some more non-stress testing, but honestly, I am glad. That way I can check in, and re-solidfy that all is well. So long as I am healthy and well, and the baby is healthy and well, my doctor seems delighted to let me take my time getting induced. I am so grateful for this. Last week, I felt all kinds of pressure to set a date, but the whole tenor of today's visit was different. Three cheers for today!

Anyway, as my body prepares, I find myself often thinking. I should clean the house....or I could sleep. I should wash the dishes...or I could sleep. I should walk....or I could sleep. Fortunately, reading is like sleeping with your eyes open, but people seem considerably more impressed when you tell them you have been reading, so that is my one saving grace.

Hopefully the stormy weather today will take a grand toll upon my body and the barometric pressure will prove valuable to women across the valley but putting them into labor. If not though, I will probably be curled up with a book sleeping awake...until I actually sleep asleep.

That's today's update. Huzzah!

39 weeks and 2 days

Here is the update, for all you desirous souls. I went to the doctor today, and she said that I am still just as closed as ever. I have decided to take this as a compliment. I am such a good mommy that my kid literally can't get enough of the home I have created for him inside of me. Additionally, I am like Fort Knox in terms of protecting him, I mean seriously, who knew I would be this good at providing safety and security for this little one.

My doctor asked me today if I have thought much about when I would want to be induced. Actually, her exact words were, "Do you think you will be itching to get this baby out by 41 weeks?" An interesting question since I think most people are "itching" to get their babies out as soon as they find out they are pregnant.

But in my oh so clever and non-commital way, I told her that I just wasn't sure. This is a defense mechanism that many years of school have taught me, when in doubt just say you aren't sure...weighing your options...considering the possibilities...etc. This allows you some serious time to actually decide what you want to do, and not make a rash emotional decision when the deliverer of your child is looking you in the face and essentially saying that if I wanted, the child could be in my arms tomorrow.

So, as I have reflected on my options, I HAVE MADE A DECISION. And that is this. Most of you know that my due date is on Sunday, as in this Sunday, June 3rd, 2012. HOWEVER, I have chosen not to actually count this as my due date, because YEARS of school have taught me that a "due date" actually means something gets delivered that day, and well, that just isn't usually the case with these darling wee ones. SO, instead, I HAVE officially moved my due date in my mind to June 17, 2012. That is the date that I will be induced assuming the baby doesn't come and he is still healthy, as it is the very last possible day that my insurance will cover my birth. That gives this little fellow a two week window to just do his thing and work his way on through the birthing canal. I know that there are risks going so over, but there are risks NO MATTER WHAT, and this is what I want to do. I desire this.

SO, if you want my guess, I think that I will have my little boy Wednesday, June 13, 2012. I think he will be 7 lbs 13 oz.

I can't wait to meet him...but I guess I can a little longer because the FACT of the matter is this: one way or another, I will have my very own baby in 19 short days. Why rush when I have a hard and fast due date like that?

I shall of course keep you posted if anything happens before that, but for now, focus on the fact that I will be giving Parker the BEST FATHER'S DAY present ever this year, because by Father's Day, June 17th, 2012...I will make him a Father. HUZZAH!

Wishing for a change

It's 1:36 am currently. I am still awake. This is a common occurrence as of late. It has become increasingly harder to sleep at night. It isn't so much that I am uncomfortable, just a bit of insomnia I guess. We have 1.5 weeks until my due date. Just 1.5, and yet this last part seems so long. I know it isn't. I know that soon I will be holding my little boy, and it will seem like all this build up was just a blink, but my goodness my emotions are up and down each day.

I christened my kiddie pool today. It was lovely. I thought that I would want all that pool for myself, but who am I kidding, watching toddlers play in the pool while I also played in the pool like a two year old...how much better can life get? Maybe that makes me a sharer. I sure hope so. Best spent afternoon for a while.

I have been 50% effaced and -1 station with 0 dilation since 36 weeks. I think I have decided that in the future, I don't want to be checked for progress until 40 weeks. I am just too bummed after each appointment where I haven't progressed.

Labor is such an odd thing. I mean, you go to the hospital for it, but you aren't sick and it isn't negative, the whole thing makes my head have to think hard. It is so strange to me that your body can be perfectly content one moment and working on getting a baby out the next moment.

Law school grades don't come out for ages. Probably that is a good thing. But yet another waiting game.

I have cleaned every surface of our house. Thanks to the help of my mother-in-law, I have also cleaned all carpets and couches that we own.

We traded in our car for a better one, but the whole thing has me thinking I should have thought more. Those are the worst kinds of feelings about decisions. The ones where for months after you wonder if it was a really a good choice. I think I will wonder until this car is paid off, and then, even then, I will probably still wonder. I know this much: I sure hope it was a good choice, but I think I will be wiser in the future. You know it was an iffy decision when that is the moral you take away.

Anyway, I think I am ready for a change: preferably in the baby form. Hopefully, I will be able to report that change soon...

Life!

So, I am just sitting here at my computer. One final down. Two more to go. Waiting for a call back about whether or not I got the Resident Assistant job for the apartments where we live, and I figured that it was about time for a good old fashioned blog post.

Life really has been good since I last wrote. In fact, I feel that this semester my attitude and life in general has made a complete turn around. I am cheerier than I have been in the past, and I have really enjoyed certain parts of school this semester. I am feeling so grateful and so truly blessed. I am disappointed in myself that in the past I have been less than grateful and less than optimistic about things, so I am trying to change that. 

Above you will notice a picture of a bunch of beautiful lilies. Lilies are my favorite flower. I love them so very much. I love the way they smell and their simple elegance without any other fluff. I just find them unique and interesting and beautiful. I am not a big flowers person; in fact, I can think of three times in the entirety of our marriage that Parker has gotten me flower (always lilies), but I was ever so grateful this day. I needed a surprise and a pick me up. Thank goodness for my sweet husband. 

He also took me on a surprise date. Surprises are quite possibly my most favorite thing in the entire world. I love them so very much. They can be anything. I don't care much about what we do or what the surprise is, I just love not know that something wonderful is going to happen and then voila. There it is. I love that. 

The funny part about the picture below is we took it, because Parker and I are trying ever so hard to become better picture takers. Then we went inside and realized there were like 300 people on the waiting list ahead of us, so we didn't end up eating here after all, but you get the idea. 

I think that I am 29 weeks in this picture. I believe it was taken on St. Patrick's day. 

This is at my Wightman family baby shower. This is my sister-in-law Becca. She is married to my brother Aaron and she is due with a little boy also just three and a half weeks after us. How fun! Our little guy is just going to have so many fun cousins. It will be terrific. Anyway, I don't know what my face is all about. I look concerned or unprepared, but Becca looks hot. So that is terrific. Anyway, that is me at about 31 weeks. So, finally I look like there is a child in there and not just chubby. 

This last weekend, we went to the tulip festival at Thanksgiving Point. We were so excited when we saw this cut out board, as we have many a fond memory from the Norwegian cut out board that we posed in previously. I am hoping that in time, we will take a picture of us being cut outs from every country in the world. 

It was such a hot day. Probably 85 or 86 degrees but it was beautiful. The tulips were gorgeous. I really enjoyed looking at them. I think had it not been so hot, and had my feet not been swelling a long with my hands, we would have stayed longer and explored more. But I don't think too many people frowned on me being the only adult putting my hands and feet in the kid fountains. I tried not to knock any children over as I ran to the spouts for relief from my swollen body, but I mean children are small...and I have a large belly... so, I am sure they will all recover in time. 

Here I am at about 34 weeks. I really thought that I had put the picture of us smiling in, but I guess not. So, here we are in our traditional unhappy marital pose, but it is just a big lie, because we are actually quite happy and rarely serious, so I suppose this is our attempt at Hollywood. The garden was beautiful and the way they had it set up, it reminded me a lot of Paris and the gardens there. This part in the background especially. I thought to myself. I could spend hours exploring this place, but another time I suppose.


Anyway, all in all, life is great! Things are really coming together for us. We are getting so much done, and I am ever so glad about it. I have no idea when the nesting vibe will kick in, because that certainly hasn't happened yet. I am so tired all the time still, and school doesn't really help alleviate that, but only a week and half left to go this semester, and then all of summer break.

I have the whole month of May to just wait for the baby essentially. I am sure that I will be preparing and cleaning and doing all those motherly things, but my number one plan currently is to invest in a kiddie pool, fill it with water each day, sit outside of my apartment, and read books. Delicious, delightful and altogether wonderful books.

Also, I am really looking forward to labor. That probably sounds odd, and I am certain it is because I haven't experienced it before, kind of like getting that elusive period your first time, and then you realize what it is, and don't care for it too much anymore...but it's true. Call me pre-pubescent if you like, but I am excited. I will join the ranks of so many amazing women who have gone before and sacrificed much to bring these beautiful spirits into the world. How could I not be excited about that?

Anyway, now that life is settling into a different kind of storm, one where I think of day to day things more often, I am looking forward to really documenting these last several weeks of this pregnancy well, but suffice it to say that aside from being impatient for this little fellow to come out and join the party, I have been so blessed and so lucky this pregnancy. I really can't complain about a single thing. My sister in law said that I must be born to breed. Perhaps she is right, but either way, I am glad for this experience. It has truly been instructive and inspiring.

On the bus...

Today on the bus this guy was talking, rather loudly too I might add, about dreams, and how it's ridiculous that people talk about how they are going to school because they dreamed to do something. Already, I felt myself getting annoyed, but then he said, "Like, no one becomes an Engineer because that was their dream, they just do it for the money." I reserve this particular pattern of reasoning for professions like prostitution and drug dealing, so you can see my hesitancy to throw engineering in that group.

At this point, the bus driver invited himself to this obviously open conversation based on the cavalier manner in which my fellow bus patron punk was talking. The bus driver said assertively, "That's not true. I don't agree with you at all. Lots of people dream of being engineers!"

I thought to myself, well THANK YOU for saying that. Obviously that is true, I live with one who loves every minute of his college of engineering major.

The punk kept talking, making up a bunch of stuff to back his stance, and he just sounded more and more ridiculous...but bless the bus driver's heart, he decided to stay the course and try to convince the punk to change his thinking. This is a game I love to watch and hate to participate in.

The bus driver shared an anecdote about how his cousin had always wanted to be a structural engineer since he was a very little soul blah blah blah. I felt satisfied with where the conversation was headed and was just about to stop listening when the bus driver decided to make his final point.

He said, "You know, I used to work at a law firm. Making money isn't all it's cracked up to be. Do what you love and then worry about money."

Here is what I will say, I agree with that statement full heartedly, but I just had to laugh that in his final moments my bus driver hero drove home his/our position on the engineering issue by entirely dismissing my field of study for doing what he was defending the field of engineers against. It was only funnier that no one even thought to dispute that point with him. It was as if he had referenced a behavior so obvious and common that no one even recognized it was disputable.

Fortunately, I needed a good laugh today, and I got one. But I fear in these moments that either I am not ready for the profession I have chosen....or it isn't ready for me. I am not sure which one it is yet, but all the same, I hope you could see the humor in that situation.

Rocky Theme

But don't you fret. If you haven't read the post before this...you really should.

It occured to me, that I failed to mention, in Property class last Wednesday, I think I earned myself a point.

Indeed, the hypothetical laid down by my professor involved Rocky II and Rocky Anderson (a former Salt Lake City mayor). You better believe I requested the Rocky theme to play during this debate. You better believe that my teacher said No.

vs.

You better believe I sang it loud and proud not relenting to the defeat of social conformity.

Indeed, it was just as epic as it sounds.

Law School: 1 Bekah: 1

Hope to pull ahead soon.

Now, for your listening pleasure.

The Rocky Theme:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhlPAj38rHc

A good deed undone

So, I was walking into school this morning. I was late, and there was this little old lady with a haunched over back. Walking/shuffling with a cane very slowly, holding a briefcase in her free hand. She looked to cumbered down by these things. It occurred to me five times that I should help her, and five times I kept walking toward school. Finally, I turned around feeling remorseful for almost allowing this opportunity to serve pass me by. I walked toward her, I said..."Are you headed inside?"

Here's the thing, I anticipated her to have an older more feeble voice, like a sweet grandma. Unfortunately, that was not the voice that met my ears. Instead, she said quite confidently, "Yes, I am going in there..."

I don't know why but the whole tone surprised me so much, I couldn't even think why I was talking to her in the first place...so I looked at her and said, "Nevermind."

And I walked quickly inside.

Psych all you angels in heaven smiling down on me. I ALMOST did a good deed...but instead, acted like a goof, allowed my expectations get in the way, and missed an opportunity to serve not once but twice in the same 15 second period.

You better believe I was kicking myself as I walked into law school this morning.

For this reason, I say Law School: 1 Bekah: 0.

The Spewing Forth Effect

I have heard many former law students say that the first year was the worst. That there is a tendency in fact to want to quit after the first year. I will call this the spewing forth effect. Probably just because that puts the best picture in my head of what I feel like regarding law school.

Here is the thing. This spew forth effect has hit me earlier than most it would appear. Contemplating going through last semester again, for this semester, and then for four more semesters brings on perhaps the greatest desire to vomit that I have ever felt. Except it isn't even like a body vomit, it is like an entire desire to relocate to a small island in the middle of nowhere, change my name, hope to find some kind of respite or just die type of vomit feeling.

But the strangest part of it is that I wouldn't say law school is hard. It isn't that the academics are soooooo challenging. It isn't even that the workload is SOOOOOO intense. I guess it's just the endless mind game. Knowing that you need to keep coming day after day in the hopes that one day you can pay off your student loans. At this point, I think that is really the take home message that I have received. There is no magic in law school, at least not yet.

I guess it feels sort of like Christmas morning without Santa or the Baby Jesus or presents or family or cookies or carrots for the reindeer. There is no feeling of hope in law school. Save one exception. There was one single professor...one glimmer of faint aspiration, last semester. His name was Lincoln Davies, and I am only realizing right now that he probably saved my law school life.

Your whole life you grow up to be something, something great. Something inspirational. Something that really makes a difference. Kids at young ages want to be firemen or doctors or movie stars, and I suppose I believe this is because they can see, young as they are, that these professions have influence.

Law. You would think, also has influence. In fact, I think that it just might, if you can get through the law school part of law. Lincoln Davies' closing lecture, finally touched on this. It said that he had once doen something for someone because of law that meant something, and that each of us could do the same. WHY IS THIS NOT THE MESSAGE OF EVERY CLASS EVER TAUGHT IN LAW SCHOOL?

Instead, we have endless mandatory meetings and classes that teach us how to get a job, any job, some job, so that we can pay off loans. So that we can afford the debt we have incurred to just try and be this profession. Too often, we are told not to "jump off the roof," not to "kill ourselves." Well, awesome. Thank you for that, but maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't be such an attractive prospect for so many if more teachers talked about how law can do good. Can change lives. Can change our lives. And not just the money part of our lives, but the actual living part. The part where you interact with other people. Maybe if law, as it is taught in law school, encompassed some kind of nobility beyond just making money, MAYBE the profession would become something magical. Something to aspire to. Something that inspires positive action rather than cynicism.

I know Atticus Finch was a fictional character, so I suppose you could say shame on me for wanting to become a lawyer because of him...but I would rather spend my next five semesters envisioning a future like his than setting my course to fulfill a loan repayment plan.

Truly great people result from lives led in the pursuit of dreams becoming realities not realities becoming their dreams. There is more substance in me striving for a seemingly unattainable goal than settling for the pragmatic purposeless pittance paying prospect presently purported as the substance of success in my area of academic study. I hope to never stop trying to push my contribution in the world from mundane to meaningful. Ideally, this will mean paying back loans while helping people.

Either way, I will best law school. It will have to quit me before I quit it. I think we all know law school needs me ... and it would appear after repeated answers to prayers that I need it.

So begins the present rivalry of my life. For now, Bekah 0: Law School 0, I'll keep you posted...

Our little baby boy!

And then there was yesterday :-) Yesterday, when we found out that we are having a little boy. MY little boy. Oh my goodness. I am so excited for this little fellow. He is a fighter, and he already has quite a personality.

Yesterday, at the appointment, this little fellow was not very eager to display his goods. It took a lot of coaxing to get him to split his legs. The ultrasound tech kept pushing on my stomach and he would move his arms and push back like, "lay off lady, I'm trying to sleep!" After a few of those punches, he finally just took both arms and covered his face so just his sweet little nose poked out between them.

It truly is so unreal that he is just squirming around in there. That he can hear my voice. That he knows or at least will know my voice and Parker's voice. That he has all sorts of feelings and that he is content being in my belly for now.

My favorite comment that the ultrasound tech made during the visit went as follows, "The brain looks good, the heart is beautiful, all the organs look good.....WOW, those are really long femur bones. He's got some seriously long legs." Indeed, the babe will be quite long/tall.

Anyway, I am so excited about this little fellow. The Wightman family refer to him as Brutus Limes Wightman...a strong name, but probably not the ultimate keeper.

Second trimester has brought on even more sneezing than the first. Occasional taco bell cravings. Having to pee every second. And A LOT more energy than in the first trimester.

First Ultrasound and the First Trimester

I had my first ultrasound at seven weeks. Naturally, we weren't sure at the time of scheduling whether I was 7 weeks or more like 11 weeks, but we felt confident it would be one of those two. I was just about as nervous as a person can be before going to this ultrasound.

Because of all the health concerns and issues relating to my whole womanly self, I was not very confident in my body or its ability to successfully carrying this little munchkin. There was a week when I spent nearly everyday sure that I would miscarry...not because my body was doing anything, but because I couldn't really believe how my body would be able to pull this off. Because I found out that I was pregnant, all the testing was put on hold. I wondered for weeks what my womb even looked like... I mean after so many months of no maintenance...who knows what was floating around in there?

I was very grateful to have Parker for this part. He was so patient with me and even helped me figure out good methods to keep me optimistic when I felt the fear and panic setting in. I ultimately realized that if I didn't change my attitude, I would worry myself into a miscarriage.

It occurred to me that I planned no part of getting this baby here in the first place, so it seemed awfully silly that I thought now, I could somehow control things. Nay. Heavenly Father has had my back from the get go. Once I realized for good or bad, I just had to trust that things were going to be as they SHOULD be, I really began to enjoy the pregnancy.

Also, let me clarify this. Parker and I were very surprised about this pregnancy, but we were overjoyed. It wasn't as in "we weren't planning to have a baby...," it was a surprise as in, "we weren't thinking I could have a baby..." So, we felt immensely blessed.

Anyway, as far as the first trimester goes, I was incredibly tired. I had a record four naps in a single day. But no sickness. None.

The first trimester went swimmingly. I was healthy as could be. I couldn't ask for a better pregnancy.

Baby's backstory

So, I know that I haven't said much about my pregnancy thus far and here I am a day from half way...so I suppose it is high time to make mention of this momentousness.

Getting Pregnant (This section will talk a lot about my period, if you aren't interested in reading about that, please proceed to the next post.)

Okay, so obviously you all know how the whole making of a baby occurs, so I don't plan to go into that much, but this much I will say. My body has never been the pinnacle of womanly health. In fact, I have often joked that my body can't figure out if it is a little girl or a woman. My whole life, my period has been really inconsistent and sometimes altogether absent. None of the previous doctors that I have ever been to have had much to say on the subject...so it has been an eternal quandary for me.

Anyway, starting in February of this year, my period went on hiatus again. By August, I decided it was time to see a doctor again. I was a bit hesitant seeing as in the past my experience had not been terrific with doctors, but I came by a very highly recommended OBGYN and set an appointment. At that appointment, the doctor discovered that I had hypothyroidism AND annovulation (ie my body couldn't ovulate on its own). She wasn't sure that the two were connected, but she prescribed the medicine for the thyroid and hoped that maybe it would impact my cycle as well. She didn't seem really convinced that it would though. So, she scheduled a lot of other testing, as in, ultrasounds of my girly parts to look for tumors or cysts or whatever else could be a lurkin'.

Because of an insurance situation, I had to put those tests off to the first week of October. So, here I am, last week of August...I start taking the thyroid pill. Life goes on as usual. The goal at the time was just to have a period. September comes. I run in the red rock relay. Last week of September comes, still no period. I am just about 5 days from that battery of testing, and I go on this run with a friend. The whole time, I want to die. The run feels so hard which is bizarre because I had just two weeks earlier run about 15 miles in 24 hours...there was no reason for this run to feel so hard.

That whole day, I felt terrible. I felt achy and tired and just not right. Keep in mind I still have not had a period since February.... so pregnancy doesn't even cross my mind. I mean, I had just been officially diagnosed with the inability to ovulate...so it sure seemed unlikely that I could be pregnant.

By night time, I had just the smallest little bit of spotting. Imagine my elation. Holy crap. I was sure my body had decided to be a woman. It explained EVERYTHING about how I had been feeling that day. I was so excited that I was about to start my period. The medicine was clearly working! I texted my mom and a friend or two letting them know Aunt Flo was well on her way.

As I went to bed that night, however, I had this thought that I should probably take a pregnancy test. I wasn't even sure if we had one, and it was really lucky that we did because if we hadn't, I am not sure when I would have checked. In fact, I may still have no idea that I was pregnant. I am a religious person, and I believe that this baby came from a loving Heavenly Father. I have no doubt that, that same loving Heavenly Father planted this sweet little thought in my head. Had He not, I am fairly certain rather devastating consequences may have resulted from my total lack of pregnancy knowledge. I was gearing up for a half marathon and pushing my body pretty hard... I also know that some of the testing I was about to do could have had a detrimental effect of the babe. So I am very grateful that I had this thought.

However, at the time, it didn't seem significant at all. In fact, it seemed stupid to me to waste a pregnancy test when I still hadn't even had a period. So, I didn't even think to mention to Parker that I was going to take the test in the morning.

Imagine my surprise when I woke up bright and early 6 a.m. Tuesday morning September 27, assumed that grandiose peeing position, glided the test into that stream of unsuspecting urine...and got a smiley face sign 2 minutes later. Say what?

I couldn't believe it. You wouldn't have been able to believe it either. Add to this that we were consciously being "careful" that month too.

Well, I just about lost it. Poor Parker was lulled from the reaches of a pleasant sleep by the horrific noise of my startled scream and the jump as I crash landed on the bed...test in hand...overhead light still off...stick still wet... and waving in Parker's face. I impatiently waited for him to acknowledge if I was indeed insane or if he too saw what I saw... unfortunately, his eyes hadn't quite adjusted to the light or lack of light, and he ultimately requested I just tell him if it was a smiley or not. I told him it was...and then asked if it could be right.

He too was skeptical.

We both spitballed ideas back and forth regarding various contaminants that could have found there way onto the test in that two second interim from peeing to snapping the cap back on, but we ultimately settled on the need for more tests.

So, I went out to the local Dan's grocery store. It is amazing how in these moments, reason shines. I knew instantly that I needed to go to Dan's not Smith's because at Smith's you have to have someone open a case for you to buy a pregnancy test. It was as if my mind was building a foolproof route to pregnancy confirmation success in mere seconds. I will admit that putting contacts in before leaving was tricky. My shaking hands sure didn't quicken the process. Ultimately, I returned 30 dollars poorer and one more positive sure that we were indeed expecting.

And then came the next truly concerning question... how pregnant am I? Not having a period since February made it rather difficult to gage just how far a long I was, but after consult with the calendar. I thought I had a pretty good idea.

So began our baby journey.

Aruba

Yes dear friends, that is where I have been for the last two weeks. We come home today. Barring one massive slam of my arm into a staircase banister on my frantic flight to the incredible fireworks on New Year's Eve and the result massive black/purple bruise on my arm, as well as, one rather brisk wave which sent me reeling...and straight toward Parker..little did I know his knee was sticking straight out and we al know waves split apart your legs, so I suppose you can imagine what occurred there. However, aside from those two incidences, I am happy to report all well and safe. An amazing feat for someone of my clumsy-ness caliber.

It has been a relaxing trip made possible by the generous Randy Wightman frequent flier and hotel points fund...and still I have wondered if we could really afford to take this trip. It was a whole Wightman Family Vacation and that has been really fun, but it is sure hard to ever feel like you can "afford" a vacation when student loans are ever present and only building with the start of a new term.

In case you aren't sure, Aruba is just off the coast of Venezuela and it is lovely. A small little island with just blue water, sandy beaches, and palm trees all around. Delightful. Truly. Anyway, I would like to inform you that we did in fact bring our camera on this trip, and I think I got maybe two pictures before the battery ran out...next step, bring the charger! So, we are getting there, slow but sure. However, I think the rest of the family has taken some lovely pictures of us, so you have that to look forward to.

It has been an adventure in reading. I love to read and so does Parker, but we have almost zero time to do it regularly. This trip offered just such an occasion. I read Wuthering Heights and the Book Thief. Here's the thing. I should write another blog post just on those two. I expect to finish the Book Thief today and begin Fellowship of the Ring on the plane ride home.

Anyway, we return state-side today and should be home tonight. Huzzah! Also, I haven't forgotten about the post that tells about all things baby, but as we will be finding out on Thursday if we are having a boy or a girl, I figured I would save the whole story and post it with that exciting news. So, if you haven't yet voted about our baby's stats...please visit here.

Um, to end this post...I have questions.

First, have you been to Aruba?

Second, have you read Wuthering Heights and what did you think?

Third, have you read the Book Thief and what did you think?

Is Fellowship of the Ring a hard read? I struggled to get through the Hobbit, and failed...so I am a little apprehensive about this one, but Parker insists I read it, and I truly want to love it. So, there is that.

Please answer the question below...

If you could live anywhere in the world providing there is an internet connection...where would you live and why? Please include pros and cons. Also, keep in mind you will probably be there for a little while i.e. familial obligations still apply immediate and extended.