Reflections

Wow! I can't believe it has been three years since I came home from France. In 2007, I had the opportunity to study abroad in Paris, France for about three months. It's funny to think back on it now. That three months changed my life in more ways than I could adequately explain here. It's ironic too that I did not really want to go there in the first place. I feel like I could say that about nearly every meaningful thing that has happened in my life. Guess I am not a very savvy commander of my ship :-)

Anyway, I was just thinking about all the experiences I had there. I don't think I ever anticipated how difficult an experience it would be to live in another country. I had this idea of France clouded with romantic scenes and beautiful scenery. That was definitely there. No doubt about it...but it was harder to notice after walking past the same beggars on the street day after day and walking everywhere I went because the whole metro was on strike (three times) and worrying for my safety as a young independent woman in the middle of a huge metropolis and feeling stupid ALL THE TIME because I couldn't speak French.

IT WAS HARD. But it was WONDERFUL.

I grew so much in those short three months, and I have spent most of my time since returning home yearning for that time in my life again.

I will share just one classic Bekah moment!

About a month into my stay there in France, I was invited with all the other girls in my program, to a dance. Now, all the other girls there with me were from BYU, and we had all been in France for a good month, but we were still sort of in a tourist phase. We rarely spoke French to each other, we traveled in a pack mostly, and as a result, I was totally out of touch with French custom despite my time there and my training before leaving for my study abroad.

I had read about the "bisous, " a custom as common to them as our hug. In fact, perhaps even more common than our hug and in many cases similar to our hand shake. Well, let me just break down what the "bisous" entails. Two people come together kiss each other on both cheeks while perhaps having some kind of light embrace.

K. Flash forward to the dance. My very kind French teacher decided it would be nice to introduce a few of us girls to some of his guy friends. Just friendly introductions, no different than anything we would do here in the states. But I was not at all in the French mindset...I mean not even a little. So, as I was being introduced, I saw this guy, this foreign guy coming near me...near me like a kiss near me...and WHAT DID I DO? What NO ONE but I would do...I waited till he had extended fully his face for the kiss and then barrel rolled out of the way kind of army style, and left him kissing air.

BAD FORM doesn't even begin to describe it. Fortunately, I remembered half way through what was happening that I would have a second chance. PERFECT. So, bless this guy's heart he started into the second kiss.....and I just couldn't do it. Call it immature, call it uncultured, call it whatever you will...but it was definitely me. And unfortunately, right as he reached my cheek this time I burst into laughter and ran out of the room.

Just ran to the courtyard...we aren't talking a cute leisurely run either. This was more of a full on sprint. I hid in the darkest corner, in the furthest place I could, hoping no one would see me, but also hoping I was safe. I sat there for a long time. I was too frustrated to cry. I was just ridiculous. I more or less figured that I had offended the entire nation of France in just that moment.

But I was wrong...

A bit later, one of my friends in the program found me. She was so kind. She wanted to know what was wrong. She had been there when I had my catastrophic collapse of culture. And she assured me that it was okay. In fact, she was so kind as to allow me to practice the bisous with her so this wouldn't happen in the future.

K. So here we are, two American girls, trying to practice the Bisous. We have moved out of the dark, into the lighted part of the courtyard. I go in for the first cheek; unfortunately, she went for the same cheek. PROBLEM.

You probably have inferred what that means...we kissed not on the cheek my friends, oh no...not the cheek, but the lips, and to top it off, in just that moment, the nice young man that had tried to do the bisous with me earlier, walked by.

Then I knew, for real this time, that I had in fact offended the whole country. That poor guy...he must have really been wondering some things about our culture or at least about me.

So you see, I had a few rough patches while there in France, but I am so grateful for that experience. There are other much more personal experiences that I would love to discuss in person, but I suppose today, I just felt that I should jot down a little note about something that has heavily influenced who I am today. Hopefully my story even brought a small smile to your face.