Personal Legend

So, I just finished reading the book the Alchemist. I don't know if any of you have read it. It was an interesting book. I wouldn't praise it for being particularly well written or a book that will last the centuries, but it talked a lot about our "personal legends". The idea was that no person will ever really be satisfied with their lives until they have found meaning in their lives by creating a personal legend.

I have often wondered what kind of legacy or legend I will leave when my life is said and done. I think this motivates me above all to do something of meaning in my life, but I wonder almost daily what that will be. I currently work at a desk job in a law office in Salt Lake City. I help people get divorced all day every day. I can't complain about the pay or the people, but I just wonder "is this really what I was meant to do?" Everything inside of me screams NO. So I don't feel settled here. I count down the days to when I can start on something new...but I often wonder if I will ever find that niche. That one occupation where I feel I have arrived. Some days I don't mind working at a job that I know will come to an end for me without any love loss...and some days it tears me up inside to think that I am just working a job to make ends meet when I could be out there starting my personal quest. I am sure you have all felt this.

I am looking forward to going to law school, but there is still that lurking fear that somehow it will carry the same emptiness so many other anticipated experiences have. I know I am supposed to go to Law School. I KNOW IT. But I wonder when my mind and my heart can come into line, when I will see the purpose of all these experiences, when I will finally have that ah ha moment in my life...until then I just keep moving forward. I am happy enough, but I can't ignore the tugging inside me that I am meant to do something different, something more suited to the talents and unique gifts that I have been blessed with. I don't think this just for me either, I think everyone is in the same circumstance, fitted for a special calling because they are each unique and divine...but I sometimes envy those who already know what that is for them. I suppose the quest is a necessary part of the experience though, and so here I sit at my desk daydreaming about the great things to come. Hope you are all doing well...and if any of you are thinking the same thing...just know you've got great company :-)