39 weeks and 2 days

Here is the update, for all you desirous souls. I went to the doctor today, and she said that I am still just as closed as ever. I have decided to take this as a compliment. I am such a good mommy that my kid literally can't get enough of the home I have created for him inside of me. Additionally, I am like Fort Knox in terms of protecting him, I mean seriously, who knew I would be this good at providing safety and security for this little one.

My doctor asked me today if I have thought much about when I would want to be induced. Actually, her exact words were, "Do you think you will be itching to get this baby out by 41 weeks?" An interesting question since I think most people are "itching" to get their babies out as soon as they find out they are pregnant.

But in my oh so clever and non-commital way, I told her that I just wasn't sure. This is a defense mechanism that many years of school have taught me, when in doubt just say you aren't sure...weighing your options...considering the possibilities...etc. This allows you some serious time to actually decide what you want to do, and not make a rash emotional decision when the deliverer of your child is looking you in the face and essentially saying that if I wanted, the child could be in my arms tomorrow.

So, as I have reflected on my options, I HAVE MADE A DECISION. And that is this. Most of you know that my due date is on Sunday, as in this Sunday, June 3rd, 2012. HOWEVER, I have chosen not to actually count this as my due date, because YEARS of school have taught me that a "due date" actually means something gets delivered that day, and well, that just isn't usually the case with these darling wee ones. SO, instead, I HAVE officially moved my due date in my mind to June 17, 2012. That is the date that I will be induced assuming the baby doesn't come and he is still healthy, as it is the very last possible day that my insurance will cover my birth. That gives this little fellow a two week window to just do his thing and work his way on through the birthing canal. I know that there are risks going so over, but there are risks NO MATTER WHAT, and this is what I want to do. I desire this.

SO, if you want my guess, I think that I will have my little boy Wednesday, June 13, 2012. I think he will be 7 lbs 13 oz.

I can't wait to meet him...but I guess I can a little longer because the FACT of the matter is this: one way or another, I will have my very own baby in 19 short days. Why rush when I have a hard and fast due date like that?

I shall of course keep you posted if anything happens before that, but for now, focus on the fact that I will be giving Parker the BEST FATHER'S DAY present ever this year, because by Father's Day, June 17th, 2012...I will make him a Father. HUZZAH!

Wishing for a change

It's 1:36 am currently. I am still awake. This is a common occurrence as of late. It has become increasingly harder to sleep at night. It isn't so much that I am uncomfortable, just a bit of insomnia I guess. We have 1.5 weeks until my due date. Just 1.5, and yet this last part seems so long. I know it isn't. I know that soon I will be holding my little boy, and it will seem like all this build up was just a blink, but my goodness my emotions are up and down each day.

I christened my kiddie pool today. It was lovely. I thought that I would want all that pool for myself, but who am I kidding, watching toddlers play in the pool while I also played in the pool like a two year old...how much better can life get? Maybe that makes me a sharer. I sure hope so. Best spent afternoon for a while.

I have been 50% effaced and -1 station with 0 dilation since 36 weeks. I think I have decided that in the future, I don't want to be checked for progress until 40 weeks. I am just too bummed after each appointment where I haven't progressed.

Labor is such an odd thing. I mean, you go to the hospital for it, but you aren't sick and it isn't negative, the whole thing makes my head have to think hard. It is so strange to me that your body can be perfectly content one moment and working on getting a baby out the next moment.

Law school grades don't come out for ages. Probably that is a good thing. But yet another waiting game.

I have cleaned every surface of our house. Thanks to the help of my mother-in-law, I have also cleaned all carpets and couches that we own.

We traded in our car for a better one, but the whole thing has me thinking I should have thought more. Those are the worst kinds of feelings about decisions. The ones where for months after you wonder if it was a really a good choice. I think I will wonder until this car is paid off, and then, even then, I will probably still wonder. I know this much: I sure hope it was a good choice, but I think I will be wiser in the future. You know it was an iffy decision when that is the moral you take away.

Anyway, I think I am ready for a change: preferably in the baby form. Hopefully, I will be able to report that change soon...