New Blog

So, I know that this will seem funny, but I have created a new blog. I know that I am not so great at keeping up on our family blog, but I hope at my other blog you will find me more consistent. It is a blog of my thoughts and opinions I suppose...so read if you like.

My NEW blog address is:

makeyourinfluencefelt.blogspot.com


Enjoy!

If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear (the irony of my birth story)

If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear (D&C Section 38), a familiar and fairly well accepted ideology the world over. Preparation = lack of fear. Fair enough friends, fair enough.

Now enter child birth.

Hmmmm.

All the preparation in the world cannot fully prepare you for childbirth. And while this may appear a tongue and cheek quip, I assure you that I do not mean it in any comical fashion. Child birth is hard. Yep. There it is, but holy crapolla CHILD BIRTH IS AMAZING. And that my friends, far outweighs any talk of the arguable unpleasantness associated with bearing a child. All the preparation in the world, could not have fully prepared me for how incredible I felt as I pushed my son into this world and felt his warm little body on my rather exposed self. Nothing could have prepared me for the sacredness of the occasion. For the emotional outpouring of a loving husband and brand new father. For the rush of love that washed over me as I realized the tiny beginnings of motherhood. For the awe that I felt realizing that the medical staff present witness this miracle everyday.

This is not to say that things went as I planned. In fact, nothing went as I planned. Months of preparation and I can honestly say that my birth plan seems a bit of a joke in retrospect, but none of that minimizes the incredible experience of childbirth and how immensely grateful I am that in the end, we had a healthy beautiful little boy.

Bout time for a post...and some pics

My goodness. What a roller coaster these past almost two weeks have been. I know that I owe you all a post about labor and delivery. I know that I will end up writing one about breastfeeding too. So be excited for those! They are coming, but today, maybe just some darling pictures of our new little son. He is such a sweet baby. I love him so much. It is funny to see how similar his tendencies are outside the womb as they were in. He LOVES to sleep on his side. He LOVES to be all stretched out. He LOVES to just relax. He is darling... as long as he is fed. Parker and I still aren't getting much sleep. That is definitely the hardest part of these first few weeks. Being sleep deprived makes everything seem so much harder and daunting, but I really love this little fellow.

Maybe it will happen this week!

So, I went to the doctor today, much better visit than last week. I just knew that I had changed and progressed. I really think that if I can just make it to next Monday's appointment without having to be induced, I will go into labor on my own.

Today, I was 80% effaced and 1 cm dilated. Some of you will look at those numbers and mock...but to me they represent a change. ANY CHANGE. And I am so very grateful for that. I definitely am feeling my body prepare more, and occasionally, I even have a small form of contraction separate from the Braxton Hicks variety that I have been so abundantly blessed with.

The only problem with today's visit was my blood pressure, it was a wee bit high, so that means a Thursday morning appointment as well as some more non-stress testing, but honestly, I am glad. That way I can check in, and re-solidfy that all is well. So long as I am healthy and well, and the baby is healthy and well, my doctor seems delighted to let me take my time getting induced. I am so grateful for this. Last week, I felt all kinds of pressure to set a date, but the whole tenor of today's visit was different. Three cheers for today!

Anyway, as my body prepares, I find myself often thinking. I should clean the house....or I could sleep. I should wash the dishes...or I could sleep. I should walk....or I could sleep. Fortunately, reading is like sleeping with your eyes open, but people seem considerably more impressed when you tell them you have been reading, so that is my one saving grace.

Hopefully the stormy weather today will take a grand toll upon my body and the barometric pressure will prove valuable to women across the valley but putting them into labor. If not though, I will probably be curled up with a book sleeping awake...until I actually sleep asleep.

That's today's update. Huzzah!

39 weeks and 2 days

Here is the update, for all you desirous souls. I went to the doctor today, and she said that I am still just as closed as ever. I have decided to take this as a compliment. I am such a good mommy that my kid literally can't get enough of the home I have created for him inside of me. Additionally, I am like Fort Knox in terms of protecting him, I mean seriously, who knew I would be this good at providing safety and security for this little one.

My doctor asked me today if I have thought much about when I would want to be induced. Actually, her exact words were, "Do you think you will be itching to get this baby out by 41 weeks?" An interesting question since I think most people are "itching" to get their babies out as soon as they find out they are pregnant.

But in my oh so clever and non-commital way, I told her that I just wasn't sure. This is a defense mechanism that many years of school have taught me, when in doubt just say you aren't sure...weighing your options...considering the possibilities...etc. This allows you some serious time to actually decide what you want to do, and not make a rash emotional decision when the deliverer of your child is looking you in the face and essentially saying that if I wanted, the child could be in my arms tomorrow.

So, as I have reflected on my options, I HAVE MADE A DECISION. And that is this. Most of you know that my due date is on Sunday, as in this Sunday, June 3rd, 2012. HOWEVER, I have chosen not to actually count this as my due date, because YEARS of school have taught me that a "due date" actually means something gets delivered that day, and well, that just isn't usually the case with these darling wee ones. SO, instead, I HAVE officially moved my due date in my mind to June 17, 2012. That is the date that I will be induced assuming the baby doesn't come and he is still healthy, as it is the very last possible day that my insurance will cover my birth. That gives this little fellow a two week window to just do his thing and work his way on through the birthing canal. I know that there are risks going so over, but there are risks NO MATTER WHAT, and this is what I want to do. I desire this.

SO, if you want my guess, I think that I will have my little boy Wednesday, June 13, 2012. I think he will be 7 lbs 13 oz.

I can't wait to meet him...but I guess I can a little longer because the FACT of the matter is this: one way or another, I will have my very own baby in 19 short days. Why rush when I have a hard and fast due date like that?

I shall of course keep you posted if anything happens before that, but for now, focus on the fact that I will be giving Parker the BEST FATHER'S DAY present ever this year, because by Father's Day, June 17th, 2012...I will make him a Father. HUZZAH!

Wishing for a change

It's 1:36 am currently. I am still awake. This is a common occurrence as of late. It has become increasingly harder to sleep at night. It isn't so much that I am uncomfortable, just a bit of insomnia I guess. We have 1.5 weeks until my due date. Just 1.5, and yet this last part seems so long. I know it isn't. I know that soon I will be holding my little boy, and it will seem like all this build up was just a blink, but my goodness my emotions are up and down each day.

I christened my kiddie pool today. It was lovely. I thought that I would want all that pool for myself, but who am I kidding, watching toddlers play in the pool while I also played in the pool like a two year old...how much better can life get? Maybe that makes me a sharer. I sure hope so. Best spent afternoon for a while.

I have been 50% effaced and -1 station with 0 dilation since 36 weeks. I think I have decided that in the future, I don't want to be checked for progress until 40 weeks. I am just too bummed after each appointment where I haven't progressed.

Labor is such an odd thing. I mean, you go to the hospital for it, but you aren't sick and it isn't negative, the whole thing makes my head have to think hard. It is so strange to me that your body can be perfectly content one moment and working on getting a baby out the next moment.

Law school grades don't come out for ages. Probably that is a good thing. But yet another waiting game.

I have cleaned every surface of our house. Thanks to the help of my mother-in-law, I have also cleaned all carpets and couches that we own.

We traded in our car for a better one, but the whole thing has me thinking I should have thought more. Those are the worst kinds of feelings about decisions. The ones where for months after you wonder if it was a really a good choice. I think I will wonder until this car is paid off, and then, even then, I will probably still wonder. I know this much: I sure hope it was a good choice, but I think I will be wiser in the future. You know it was an iffy decision when that is the moral you take away.

Anyway, I think I am ready for a change: preferably in the baby form. Hopefully, I will be able to report that change soon...

Life!

So, I am just sitting here at my computer. One final down. Two more to go. Waiting for a call back about whether or not I got the Resident Assistant job for the apartments where we live, and I figured that it was about time for a good old fashioned blog post.

Life really has been good since I last wrote. In fact, I feel that this semester my attitude and life in general has made a complete turn around. I am cheerier than I have been in the past, and I have really enjoyed certain parts of school this semester. I am feeling so grateful and so truly blessed. I am disappointed in myself that in the past I have been less than grateful and less than optimistic about things, so I am trying to change that. 

Above you will notice a picture of a bunch of beautiful lilies. Lilies are my favorite flower. I love them so very much. I love the way they smell and their simple elegance without any other fluff. I just find them unique and interesting and beautiful. I am not a big flowers person; in fact, I can think of three times in the entirety of our marriage that Parker has gotten me flower (always lilies), but I was ever so grateful this day. I needed a surprise and a pick me up. Thank goodness for my sweet husband. 

He also took me on a surprise date. Surprises are quite possibly my most favorite thing in the entire world. I love them so very much. They can be anything. I don't care much about what we do or what the surprise is, I just love not know that something wonderful is going to happen and then voila. There it is. I love that. 

The funny part about the picture below is we took it, because Parker and I are trying ever so hard to become better picture takers. Then we went inside and realized there were like 300 people on the waiting list ahead of us, so we didn't end up eating here after all, but you get the idea. 

I think that I am 29 weeks in this picture. I believe it was taken on St. Patrick's day. 

This is at my Wightman family baby shower. This is my sister-in-law Becca. She is married to my brother Aaron and she is due with a little boy also just three and a half weeks after us. How fun! Our little guy is just going to have so many fun cousins. It will be terrific. Anyway, I don't know what my face is all about. I look concerned or unprepared, but Becca looks hot. So that is terrific. Anyway, that is me at about 31 weeks. So, finally I look like there is a child in there and not just chubby. 

This last weekend, we went to the tulip festival at Thanksgiving Point. We were so excited when we saw this cut out board, as we have many a fond memory from the Norwegian cut out board that we posed in previously. I am hoping that in time, we will take a picture of us being cut outs from every country in the world. 

It was such a hot day. Probably 85 or 86 degrees but it was beautiful. The tulips were gorgeous. I really enjoyed looking at them. I think had it not been so hot, and had my feet not been swelling a long with my hands, we would have stayed longer and explored more. But I don't think too many people frowned on me being the only adult putting my hands and feet in the kid fountains. I tried not to knock any children over as I ran to the spouts for relief from my swollen body, but I mean children are small...and I have a large belly... so, I am sure they will all recover in time. 

Here I am at about 34 weeks. I really thought that I had put the picture of us smiling in, but I guess not. So, here we are in our traditional unhappy marital pose, but it is just a big lie, because we are actually quite happy and rarely serious, so I suppose this is our attempt at Hollywood. The garden was beautiful and the way they had it set up, it reminded me a lot of Paris and the gardens there. This part in the background especially. I thought to myself. I could spend hours exploring this place, but another time I suppose.


Anyway, all in all, life is great! Things are really coming together for us. We are getting so much done, and I am ever so glad about it. I have no idea when the nesting vibe will kick in, because that certainly hasn't happened yet. I am so tired all the time still, and school doesn't really help alleviate that, but only a week and half left to go this semester, and then all of summer break.

I have the whole month of May to just wait for the baby essentially. I am sure that I will be preparing and cleaning and doing all those motherly things, but my number one plan currently is to invest in a kiddie pool, fill it with water each day, sit outside of my apartment, and read books. Delicious, delightful and altogether wonderful books.

Also, I am really looking forward to labor. That probably sounds odd, and I am certain it is because I haven't experienced it before, kind of like getting that elusive period your first time, and then you realize what it is, and don't care for it too much anymore...but it's true. Call me pre-pubescent if you like, but I am excited. I will join the ranks of so many amazing women who have gone before and sacrificed much to bring these beautiful spirits into the world. How could I not be excited about that?

Anyway, now that life is settling into a different kind of storm, one where I think of day to day things more often, I am looking forward to really documenting these last several weeks of this pregnancy well, but suffice it to say that aside from being impatient for this little fellow to come out and join the party, I have been so blessed and so lucky this pregnancy. I really can't complain about a single thing. My sister in law said that I must be born to breed. Perhaps she is right, but either way, I am glad for this experience. It has truly been instructive and inspiring.