Wishing for a change

It's 1:36 am currently. I am still awake. This is a common occurrence as of late. It has become increasingly harder to sleep at night. It isn't so much that I am uncomfortable, just a bit of insomnia I guess. We have 1.5 weeks until my due date. Just 1.5, and yet this last part seems so long. I know it isn't. I know that soon I will be holding my little boy, and it will seem like all this build up was just a blink, but my goodness my emotions are up and down each day.

I christened my kiddie pool today. It was lovely. I thought that I would want all that pool for myself, but who am I kidding, watching toddlers play in the pool while I also played in the pool like a two year old...how much better can life get? Maybe that makes me a sharer. I sure hope so. Best spent afternoon for a while.

I have been 50% effaced and -1 station with 0 dilation since 36 weeks. I think I have decided that in the future, I don't want to be checked for progress until 40 weeks. I am just too bummed after each appointment where I haven't progressed.

Labor is such an odd thing. I mean, you go to the hospital for it, but you aren't sick and it isn't negative, the whole thing makes my head have to think hard. It is so strange to me that your body can be perfectly content one moment and working on getting a baby out the next moment.

Law school grades don't come out for ages. Probably that is a good thing. But yet another waiting game.

I have cleaned every surface of our house. Thanks to the help of my mother-in-law, I have also cleaned all carpets and couches that we own.

We traded in our car for a better one, but the whole thing has me thinking I should have thought more. Those are the worst kinds of feelings about decisions. The ones where for months after you wonder if it was a really a good choice. I think I will wonder until this car is paid off, and then, even then, I will probably still wonder. I know this much: I sure hope it was a good choice, but I think I will be wiser in the future. You know it was an iffy decision when that is the moral you take away.

Anyway, I think I am ready for a change: preferably in the baby form. Hopefully, I will be able to report that change soon...